Dog People

Let's get this out of the way - poop is childish, defecate is snooty, and shit is crass.  I will use "crap" to indicate the act and I shan't concern myself with synonyms.

Often it is heard that there are cat people and there are dog people.  Few are both and even fewer are neither.  Less frequently is any assessment of what the designations might indicate about the individual.  I'll take a quick stab. 

Cats are trained to crap in a litter box.  They crap onto a pile of gravel in the middle of the house, that's the rule.  This behavior is nonsensical, yet no one questions its perpetuation.  It's simply the way things are done.

Dogs, on the other hand, are walked.  Even in Manhattan residents take their canines 30 floors down in an elevator to jaunt them about the busy sidewalks, dodging passersby as they curb the droppings.  In the face of man's greatest metropolis this function occurs is as nature intended.  Take a step or two back to say, Ohio, and the leashes become unnecessary.  As the Bard said, "If dogs run free, why not we?  Across the swooping plain?"

I'm a dog person.  I am not going to crap in the middle of the house onto a mound of perfumed sand.  Rules without merit need not be obeyed.  Truthfully, doing so will only quicken the gyre that pulls us forever down.  They should not be obeyed.  And, by me, they will not be obeyed.  For better or worse, I shall run free.

And, frankly, anyone who can't come to terms with it can just keep drinking the Kool-Aid and, maybe, go screw themselves with a big ol' piece of rebar.

Cheers.