"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison
"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives." — C.D. Payne
"So don't weep for me now, my friends, because science insists that I have not died.
Energy just always changes state and I refuse to believe that human consciousness is the sole exception to this universal law."
- Mark Millar
"Do only butterflies die in flames? What about those devoured by the flames within them?" - E.M. Cioran

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Greatest Idea Ever


Custom t-shirt printing at CustomInk.com

If I make 'em, do you want one?

Suicide Squeeze - Toldja So ('92 Upper Deck)

A Quest Called Tribe

Let's talk about Manny Acta.  Now, I agree that the suicide squeeze was a stroke of genius, but was it a blind squirrel finding a nut? 

Following Shelley Duncan's leadoff double in the 7th, Acta had the opportunity to pinch hit for Austin Kearns with someone (say Jack Hannahan or Michael Brantley) that might actually succeed in laying down a sac bunt.  Instead, Acta asked Kearns and his one career sacrifice to try to get the ball down off one of the best pitchers in baseball.  Not surprisingly Austin looked utterly out of his element in popping the bunt foul and into the glove on a diving Jarrod Saltalamacchia.  Two groundouts later and the Indians had wasted Duncan's two bagger.

Next, in the top of the 8th, having pulled Fausto Carmona after seven tremendous innings (he lowered his ERA by a full 21 points), Acta went to Chad Durbin.  Durbin had been effective as a middle reliever with the Phillies over the past few season, but, as illustrated by the late date of his signing, he's no world beater.  The initial logic was sound and produced the desired result, as Durbin retired Salt.  Marco Scuatro followed with his second single of the day and everyone, including me, expected Manny to bring in Rafael Perez to face the lefthanded duo of Jacoby Ellsbury and Carl Crawford.  Nope.  For some inexplicable reason, Durbin remained on the hill and issued a quick walk to Ellsbury.  Only then did Acta take the slow walk and bring Rafe in from the 'pen.  Fortunately, Perez has been so lights out thus far that he was able to wriggle out of the inning unscathed.

The squeeze was beautiful, mostly in Asdrubal's phenomenal execution (how does anyone bunt a 97mph fastball that's 9 inches off of the plate by bouncing it foul beside the right batting box and keep the damn thing fair all the way down the line?).  I can also agree that Manny Acta has managed this season as if his life depended on each and every win (go to a lefty-lefty matchup in the 5th, anyone?).  Still, it remains to be seen if Acta's brilliance outshines his blunders.  For now I will withhold judgment and bask in the glory of the Indians' first sweep of the BoSox since '01 and Boston's first 0-6 start since 1945.  How sweet it is, Caroline.

What Else I Know --

Josh Tomlin is the first Indian pitcher IN HISTORY to pitch at least 5 innings in his first 13 starts.  Love it.

I'll admit that I was wrong.  Adam Everett is, indeed, the Indians' back up third baseman.  I guess that I was just overwhelmed by the fact that Adam has never played the position in 12 pro seasons.

Shin-Shoo Choo is batting .083.  It couldn't happen to nicer guy.  I must have asked Choo for his sig 30 times when the Tribe came to Cow-Town and the jerk didn't even look at me once.

Cheers.

Yes, There Are 2 Miley Cyrus Love Dolls


Is anyone the least bit surprised that I'm the one bringing this to your attention?  Soon, I learn the guitar in preparation to play as our world burns.  Now, I sob quietly. 

Perhaps the doll was inspired by this.

It's A GD Red Sox Song


Anytime you feel inclined to chant along, just remember these idiots and how the 2007 ALCS felt like having your bones ripped out through your pores.  Then don't sing it.  Be a fan.

A Quest Called Tribe


Ahhhhh!  Too many tiny faces!  These are the AA prospects of the Cleveland Indians.  I could caption them for you, but the code is sooooo unwieldy.  I'll examine them in turn in the coming months (ooh, prospect evaluation, how original) and I will remind/reveal them to you at such a time. 

Now why the eff are they of relevance today?  The Clippers hosted the Aeros in an exhibition game at scenic Huntington Park this afternoon.  So much chocolate covered wonderful to describe about today, so let's get the nuts and bolts out of the way.  AA Akron defeated AAA Columbus 10-4.  The game was, in many ways, sloppy, but it was a true intrasquad as illustrated by the strangest occurrence that I have ever seen in a pro game.

The Impressive:  Akron CF Jordan Henry (top left) can flat out fly.  Henry reached base four times and scored on three.  While he didn't steal a base proper, his baserunning instincts are top notch.  Jordan was aggressive in going first to third, while his antics dancing off of any base were disruptive to the Columbus staff.

Jason Kipnis cah-rushed a first inning home run to dead center.  I mean, you cannot hit the ball any better.  The bomb cleared the 400 ft sign in the deepest part of the ball park and had drive to continue had the batter's eye not knocked it out of the sky.

Luis Valbuena looked slick at the hot corner.  Coming off of the dissapointment of being left off of the big league roster, Valbuena has displayed a much healthier attitude thus far and his play has reflected his positivity.  Luis made a sliding stop of a ball destined for the left field corner to start the force play to get the first out of the game and followed that with a picture feed to start an inning ending double play.  He then made a spectacular grab on a foul pop, looking over his left shoulder just in front of the stands, to help end the nightmare 5th.

Akron SS Juan Diaz put down the best bunt that I have seen a good long while, deadening the ball about 20 feet down the 3rd base line in a place where no one could possibly make a play.  And I think it was supposed to be a sacrifice.  Wicked.

The Depressing:  Yohan Pino allowed the first 6 to reach in the 5th en route to surrendering 5 earned in one inning.

Jerad Head struck out all three times.

Matt McBride hit the double play ball to end the first, popped out with the bases juiced in the 3rd and looked hopelessly unable to pick any ball in the dirt at first.

The Unbelievable:  The game was free.  Seriously.  You had to grab a ticket from the sales window before going in, but it cost $0.  Additionally, all seating was general admission.  No, really.  You could probably count the attendance in the three digits so you could sit right behind the plate if you got there first.  Personally, I prefer the first row just past the third base dugout.  That's me, so there I sat.  Awesome.

There were no vendors walking around and, for the first couple of innings, no ball boys.  The outfielders had to corral foul grounders before play could continue.

Score this one, Tito.  Leadoff man walks.  On a 1-0 pitch he breaks for second.  The hit and run is on and the right handed batter bounces the ball through the hole vacated by the second baseman.  The second baseman is visibly frustrated at not being out of position to field the gimme grounder.  The speedy runner makes third standing.  The right fielder returns the ball cleanly to the second baseman.  Still agitated over the hit and run, the second baseman proceeds to inspect the ball and toss it from glove to hand and back, all of this with his back to the infield.  Alert at third, the runner breaks for the plate.  Shocked, the second baseman sends a two hopper to the catcher, not nearly in time.  Meanwhile, the batter takes second on the throw.  I would have to imagine that one could certainly not give an RBI to the batter.  I am inclined to give the second baseman an error.  Although the ascribing of errors for mental mistakes is frowned upon, I'll mitigate my decision by charging the E-4 on the lousy throw home.  My guess, though, is that the almighty official scorer would just say everything happened "on the throw."  No RBI.  No error.  No doggone nothin'.  I hate official scorers.

One would think that to be the oddest occurrence of the day.  Wrong-o.  With the Clippers trailing 10-4, the Aeros sent reliever Connor Graham (middle row, far left) in to start the bottom of the 6th inning.  After falling behind Jordan Brown 3-1, Graham became visibly injured.  The catcher, trainer and manager all headed to the mound and, following a brief discussion, left the field again with Graham.  Momentarily, the entire infield followed suit.  After a beat, the outfield did the same.  Then Brown walked towards the Clippers dugout, flapping his hands as if to say "forget about it."  Having lived through the 2.5 inning magic of the Clippers and Indians, I expected the game to be called right then.  But, no, oh no.  The Clippers took the field.  What?  The Aeros went down in order and the Clippers came out to bat in the bottom of 7.  Really?  Eric Berger, who had just started warming when Graham went down, entered to finish the game.  Best part: your leadoff hitter in the 7th?  Yep, Jordan Brown.  It was as if the bottom of the sixth simply never happened, didn't exist.  Without a doubt the most baffling thing that I have ever seen in any game.  I suppose that the thought process was to avoid the delay of Berger warming up on the infield mound.  Weird.

Now, nothing stranger could possibly have happened.  You might think so, but, personally, I beg to differ.  Today, after 33 years of futility, I snatched a foul ball.  This post is long enough, but, soon, I will treat you to a recounting of the three most embarrassing instances of my foul ball failures.  They're like watching a small boy hit his dad in the nuts with a wiffle ball bal, you will laugh.

On top of the ball, I was able to track down a pair more outside of the stadium, snare all of my signatures (all 12 above) and enjoyed a beautiful spring day at the ballpark.  It takes quite simple, yet incredibly specific things to make me happy.  Baseball, as pure and childlike as it was today, does exactly that.

Cheers.

P.S. The big Indians won again, three in a row.  Mitch Talbot couldn't get through five, but the bullpen was excellent, the long ball was flyin' and the Tribe even got a little luck.  Find the highlight (I'm working on it!  MLB is preposterously proprietary) of Michael Brantley's fielder's choice in the 6th.  It, too, will boggle your mind.  Also, Vinnie Pestano throws some nasty stuff.

Pretty Girl 04.07.11 - Jennifer Morrison


Blonde, redhead or brunette?  How 'bout all three?  Nice.