"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison
"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives." — C.D. Payne
"So don't weep for me now, my friends, because science insists that I have not died.
Energy just always changes state and I refuse to believe that human consciousness is the sole exception to this universal law."
- Mark Millar
"Do only butterflies die in flames? What about those devoured by the flames within them?" - E.M. Cioran

Friday, April 15, 2011

Why Don't More Runners Do This?


Like, I don't know, Josh Hamilton?

A Quest Called Tribe

I sat.  I sat and I debated.  I could no longer abide by Francisco Liriano's implosions, thus I needed a new starting pitcher on my fantasy team.  Two names stood out on the list of best available: Justin Masterson and Zach Britton.  Yahoo had touted the upside of the young Orioles hurler and, despite Masterson's sweet start, Britton had better numbers.  The deciding factor was my desire to avoid a conflict.  I did not want to root against the Indians for the sake of my fantasy team or vice-versa.  Good decision, this guy.

Both pitchers threw well, running into only one inning of trouble apiece.  The difference was the Justin was able to manage the O's in the 4th while Britton gave up six straight hits to the Tribe in the third.  I will freely admit that I was among the those that doubted Masterson's future as a starter during the off season.  Last season the big right hander lacked command within the strike zone.  That resulted in a lot of hard hits.  This tendency bred the urge to nibble which, in turn, led to a bunch of walks.  So far in 2011, Masterson (1.33 ERA) has been a strike throwing machine.  Against Baltimore, 66 of his 90 pitches were for strikes.  More importantly, he was spotting his pitches where he wanted them.  Ergo weak swings and, for Masterson, ground outs.  Justin lives on ground balls, to the tune of 12 of his 21 outs this evening and 36 of 61 on the season.  Similar to Fausto Carmona, you cannot count on the punch outs, but you do not need to.  Over 7 beautiful innings, Masterson allowed that lone 4th inning run on four hits and a walk.  He struck out three.

As has been the case in many games this season, the Indians offense was opportunistic and several players made nice contributions.  Travis Hafner (.293) cranked a 6th inning long ball into the gale of 20MPH headwind (Did anyone else see the shot of Pronkz Donkz during the IBB?).  Asdrubal Cabrera (.302) now leads the league in RBI.  Still, nothing was better than Michael Brantley (.333) beating out a would be sacrifice in the four run third.  On some nights, like tonight, even Matt LaPorta (.225) looks like a major league hitter.  It is truly a shame that those nights continue to be so few and far between.  Also, Josh Rupe stinks.  No complaints though.

Joe Smith waded through three hits and a run in the ninth.  It was his first game back from rehab.  If his oblique injury lingers, his effectiveness will be severely hampered all season.  Grady Sizemore and Jason Donald both got the night off for Columbus.

Tribe wins, Tribe wins.  That's your 9-4, first place Tribe (the ChiSox are losing).  And all of you successfully dodged my rant on why Jackie Robinson is merely iconic and not a folk hero.

Cheers.

P.S. Has anyone else noticed how quick these games have been (2:26, 12 innings in 3:16, 2:15, 2:25 over the last 4).  That's the mark of good pitching.  Remember 1p start tomorrow.

Fake Nipples

This is Alexis Bledel.  You may remember her from Gilmore Girls, or, hopefully, half-naked in Sin City.  Alexis is one of those ladies who never quite made the leap from cute to hot.  The fact that she still appears 15 is wearing a bit thin.  Anyway, from this pic you might suppose the Lexi is a bit chilly or that she's found herself upon a lonely road with frequent animal crossings.  ;-j  Upon closer inspection you will notice that there are two small vertical seams running up the undersides of her breasts to a point smack dab in the middle.  This is, and I am not kidding, designed to simulate erect nipples without putting the girl through the embarrassment of actually flashing her high beams.  This is, again not kidding, a trend in women's fashion.  Really.

Such asexual teasing falls into a disturbing pattern that I have found with the fairer sex.  Most girls (this is based on direct statements from a number that I have conversed with and additional extrapolation) want every dude on the street to want to have sex with them.  Nice.  I can dig it.  The issue is that they don't actually want to nude up with all of us guys, they just want us to want to.  Get it?  They want to irritate us.  This is the latest and greatest piece of evidence that the femmes are just bat-shit crazy.  Men want all of the chickadees to want to do the deed AND we would very much prefer the shades (and other things) to actually fall.  No muss, no fuss.

I can grasp the concept that, sometimes, the chase is fun.  Often, I agree.  The pea in my mattress is that there is no reason, in this age of decadence and consumption, for the status quo to be one of lies and aggravation.  Yeah.

I suppose that I will never truly understand women (shocker), but there is absolutely no way that anyone can convince me that there is a sliver of sanity involved in a thought process designed to frustrate and enrage.

Suicide Squeeze - Bobcat Pride ('92 Upper Deck)

I Bet Ke$ha Likes All This Attention


And Katy Perry gets indignant and Lady Gaga shaves her eyebrows with a turtle.

Flick to Click: Stake Land


Opens 04.22.11

Dimes For the Clip Joint

The Tribe could take a lesson from its AAA affiliate.  After their best start in the 30 years, the Clippers dropped both ends of a twi night to Louisville on Tuesday, the second game in heart wrenching (and mildly confusing fashion).  Columbus hiked up their britches, added Grady Sizemore and reversed their fortunes today in Toledo.

The Clippers relied on pitching on Thursday, mustering all of ten hits in 14 innings.  Game 1 can be summed up in a single sentence.  Jeanmar Gomez (1.46 ERA) threw a complete game shutout (7 IP, 8 H, BB, 7 K), Sizemore smacked a third inning homer, and the Clips took a 1-zip win to intermission.

For some reason, minor league managers often use spot starters on double header day.  Thereby, no one really had any idea who would start the second game.  I guessed Alex White.  The PD suggested Corey Kluber.  Columbus skipper Mike Sarbaugh sent Joe Martinez to hill.  Martinez (4.26) was unspectacular in eating 3 innings, holding the fort until Luis Valbuena (.375) tied the game with a two run fourth inning double.  Chad Huffman (.095) broke out of a season long 0-fer with 2 hits and scored three times, while Jordan Brown (.286) walked in all four of his plate appearances and came across twice.  The Clippers iced the game thanks to a sloppy Toledo 7th, securing the win for Carlton Smith.  Smith and Zach Putnam (1.69, 2nd SV) allowed just two base runners over the final four frames.

Columbus plays one more in Toledo before coming home Saturday for the home opener.  If Sarbaugh slides back into his rotation, then White should start tomorrow and Zach McAllister at Huntington.

Other Minor Points of Interest -

I have an odd fascination with the prospects that the Indians acquired from dealing their entire team away over the past 3 seasons.  One of those players is Scott Barnes, the dude that we got from the Giants in the Ryan Garko trade.  Barnes has been rather innocuous in the the year and a half since he joined the organization, but the 23 year old lefty seems to have arrived.  Following a brief but powerful first start (4 IP, 3 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 7 K), Scottie tossed a gem tonight for Akron.  In seven stellar innings Barnes allowed just two hits and struck out 10 without issuing a walk.  The Aeros put up a five spot in the 8th and Scott notched his first win.  You can never have too many lefties.

For anyone who might be wondering, St Ed's product Alex Lavisky is getting steady PT behind the plate for Lake County, but is having a tough go of it so far.  Already 20, Lavisky is just 4-for-28 (.143) and has piled up 12 Ks.  No need to worry, it's a long season.

Don't tell that to Nordonia grad Tyler Tufts, though.  Ty made his third consecutive scoreless appearance for the Myrtle Beach Pelicans, fanning a pair.  Over three and a third this season, Tyler has been touched for a paltry two hits and a walk, while striking out 6.  Keep it up, kid.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 04.15.11 - Jennifer Lawrence


She'd looks like this, she's got an Oscar nom and she's all sorts of (pseudo) nekkid in the new X-Men flick.  I wonder which is my favorite?