"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison
"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives." — C.D. Payne
"So don't weep for me now, my friends, because science insists that I have not died.
Energy just always changes state and I refuse to believe that human consciousness is the sole exception to this universal law."
- Mark Millar
"Do only butterflies die in flames? What about those devoured by the flames within them?" - E.M. Cioran

Friday, March 30, 2012

Just In From the Desert

Fuck me.  No, really.  Fuck me.  Just when I though it couldn't get any worse...

Jeanmar Gomez, by far the highlight of the spring, once again dazzled over 3 2/3 scoreless innings (2 H, 2 BB, 4 K) to lower his ERA to 1.37.  Then, he left with an injury.  Kevin Slowey instantly got a huge boner.  It does keep with theme of spring, that of on-field performance having no relation to the acquisition of a roster spot.

Later, Dan Wheeler, fresh off of officially "winning" a roster spot, went out and proved exactly why he was far and away the best choice.  After retiring the first man he faced, Wheeler surrendered back-to-back home runs (that made 5 in fewer than 9 innings this spring) to Todd Frazier and Juan Francisco.  Danny then settled down to allow a single to Willie Harris and an RBI doubled to former Indian Ryan Ludwick.  Next up was Ryan LaMarre.  I don't even know who that is.  Suffice to say that Dan Wheeler will never forget him, as LaMarre jacked a two run bomb (keep counting, that's #6) before Wheeler was mercifully able to retire the last two he faced.  Still, the line is fugly: 5 earned on 5 hits (including 3 long balls) in a just a single inning of work.  Did I mention that the five runs were the difference in a 6-5 Reds win?  The massacre left Dan's ERA at 11.70, his OBA at .422 and his WHIP at 2.20.  I reiterate: could the man have done anything more to convince the brass to send him somewhere, anywhere other than the North Coast for April 5th?  C'mon, man!

Somewhere Out There:  Fuck it, we have to work with what we have and this is the only race left.  Unfortunately, the only two guys in this competition are stiffer than a Vietnamese gigolo after a handful of Viagra.   Aaron Cunningham (.205) went 1-for-4 and Ryan Spilborghs (.167) 0-for-1.  I never though that I would be rooting for AC, but if the alternative should occur, I might have to renew my conceal and carry on the off chance that I see Manny Acta on the street.

Not that these games matter in any context whatsoever, but the last day of March features the Indians hosting the Rangers for a night game.  That 10:05 EST if you're not keeping up.


Pretty Girl Update! - Maggie Q

If I go to heaven, she'll be there to fight ninjas in the nude.

Just In From the Desert

I am officially disgusted.

This what the Indians announced today:

(1) Dan Wheeler has made the team, "earning" the first of two bullpen spots.  This spring, in 9 innings, Wheeler has allowed 8 earned runs on 14 hits and 3 walks.  He has struck out 9 and allowed 3 home runs.  While it is true that Danny allowed all of that damage in his first 4 appearance and has not surrendered a run in his past 5 IP, how does that elevate him over Jeremy Accardo, who has a better ERA (1.00 vs 8.00), OBA (.289 vs .378) and WHIP (1.33 vs 1.89)?  The "brain-trust" had made this decision coming into camp and was unprepared to change their collective mind, barring injury.  This move sucks.  It is, in a word, indefensible.  Given the contractual situation of the newly acquired Jairo Asencio, the bullpen race is over.  If anyone would trade for an out of options player and then DFA him 3 days later, it would be the Indians, but that would be a heretofore unheard level of idiocy, even for them.

(2)  Even so, the fact that the 4th outfielder race has boiled down to Aaron Cunningham and Ryan Spilborghs is ridiculous enough to approach the obscene.  In 40 spring ABs, Cunningham has 8 hits (.200).  Exactly two of those are for extra bases and his OPS is an infantile .488.  I have repeatedly repeated that he too is out of options and that he might make the club because the organization is committed to mediocrity.  In spite of myself, I held out hope, but when the other option is Spilborghs?  What the fuck?!  He's hitting .171!  The only reason his OPS is as high as .490 is that he's walked 6 times.  I have already explained that he is a catastrophically awful outfielder.  AT ALL 3 POSITIONS!

Will we get a meaningful explanation on this?  No!  Acta will do some song and dance about quality plate appearances and previous track record.  He'll make a quirky comment and offer a sly grin, all the while thinking "We'll do whatever we want, you ignorant sheep, and you'll still sell out opening day and pay my waste of a salary."

Fuck Manny Acta.  Fuck Chris Antonetti.  Fuck Larry Dolan.  I'm not asking for Prince Fielder.  I'm not even asking for Josh Willingham anymore.  Is it too much to expect the club to take on the field performance into the decision making process?

My first inclination was 86 wins.  Terry Pluto suggested 76.  If this is the "philosophy" that the organization is going to employ this season, it's going be more like 66.

Red TagsRuss Canzler and Nick Hagadone were optioned to AAA.  Chris Ray, Robinson Tejada, Chris Seddon, Luke Carlin, and Andy LaRoche were officially reassigned to the minor league camp.  Felix Pie, Matt Pagnozzi and Gregorio Petit were told that they will not make the club, but will stay with the team through the end of camp.

P.s.  I nearly forgot about this in my ire, but it seems that Jose Lopez has indeed made the team as the 13th position player.  The club paid Lopez a $100K option to keep him in the organization through June 1st, regardless of which level he plays at.  It is still possible that Cunningham and Spilborghs both make.  It's possible that a late move is made and some other scrub takes the spot, but, as of now, all signs point to Lopez.

By my count, all of the battles have been decided, save the no win decision on the 4th outfielder.

Pretty Girl 03.30.12 - Aarti Chhabria

With a character name like Koothrappali, she has to be good.  Seriously, she's hot.