Pretty Girl 11.09.10 - Jenna Fischer

The ultimate girl next door.

Bleeding Brown and Orange

Most people believe that NFL football returned to Cleveland in 1999 with a blowout loss to the Steelers.  Tim Couch made his debut that September night.  I take a different stance and contend that only as of Sunday Cleveland has a true NFL team for the first time in 15 years.  The Browns dominated the best team in the NFL (record wise as least) from kickoff to final whistle, for 60 minutes.  It was a thing of beauty, true quality smashmouth football.

Colt McCoy and Peyton Hillis are well on their way to folk hero status and with good reason.  I cannot recall a rookie QB appearing so comfortable and in control on the field.  McCoy is the winningest signal caller in FBS history and every snap he takes betrays that fact.  He plays impassioned ball while keeping his wits about him.  His ability for improvisation, either by land or air, is ridiculous.  While the game speeds up on so many people, the action appears to slow to a crawl for Colt, facilitating nearly faultless decision making.  His gamesmanship is a pleasure to watch.  As is Hills' absolute refusal to go down.  At times this may work against him, given his history on injury.  If the Browns can coach just a mote of restraint into the man and keep him healthy, then the sky is the limit.  That being said, the most impressive play Hillis made was on a reception down the right sideline, an incredibly athletic play for someone of his build, heck for anyone.  Add to the mix Thomas, Steinbach, and Mack on the line, Evan Moore as a 3rd down tight-end and potential for elegant trick plays and the Brownies have the true makings of an offense. 

The defense is enigmatic.  It was difficult to pinpoint what was so different about the corps on Sunday, but the Pats looked out of sync all day.  Tom Brady was frustrated, the receivers never became involved and the D avoided big plays.  Notably Eric Wright had an excellent game for the first time this year and the resolve that Abe Elam (I learned his name!) showed prying the ball out just before the half was astonishing.  While the pass rush was by no means overwhelming, there was more than enough to throw Brady Bieber off of his game and piss him off to no end.  While the team does not have an immense amount of talent, they are becoming proficient at playing mistake free football, an excellent first step in building toward playoff contention.

The future looks bright and, as opposed to the 2002 or 2007 seasons, there seems to be a foundation in place.  Instead of acrimony amongst the ranks and headcases playing over their heads, strong fundamentals and team unity are the words of the day.  Congrats Browns.  We appreciate the hard work and the results.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 11.08.10 - Kelly Stables

I'm gonna bring her home in my pocket!  She's 4'10".

Black Mamba

The Call of Duty: Black Ops spot with Kobe and Kimmel.  Who gave Kobe a gun, yo?

Pretty Girl 11.07.10 (Video Edition!) - Carissa Walford

Australian for "Hells, Yeah!"

"We Wanted You To Be Who You Said You Were"

Sadly, the rest of the world will forget.  Remember when Kobe raped that chick?  No one else does either.

Pretty Girl 11.06.10 - Courtney Friel

Now that's what I call a Conservative agenda!

Whistle Stops

Looking to be the first on your block to grab an 2010 Ohio State Pro Combat Jersey?  Get it here.  Currently available in #42 (LB Andrew Sweat), #22 (retired, Les Horvath - starting QB on the '42 National Championship team that the jerseys commemorate & '44 Heisman winner) & #2 (some scrub).

In even better news, the Tribe has DFAed Andy Marte to remove him from the 40-man roster.  The Indians are down to 35 now with Grady Sizemore and Carlos Santana to be added back from the 60-day DL.  This means the Indians can add 3 prospects to be protected during the Rule 5 draft.  All of the following are possibilities: Rob Bryson, Paolo Espino, Connor Graham, Nick Hagadone, Beau Mills, Matt McBride, Jared Goedert, Josh Rodriguez, Jose Constanza and John Drennen.  Anbny who are not added might be plucked by another team

Eponymity

Finally saw Inception.  So, a theory within the film is that when in the dreamscape (and unaffected by heavy sedatives) the method to return to the real world is death.  Also, if I'm on a similar plane, i.e. not the most essential level, then I am consciously unaware of my predicament.  Something has influenced the rules here.  Something has constructed a maze precluding death as a viable ;-j escape hatch.  In fact, we're all taught that death is to be avoided at all costs, despite the fact that individual and aggregate demise is inevitable.  We're taught to keep playing the game.  Despite the seeming fact that the lexicon of philosophical thought is complete, ideas occur to me (including the notion of death as the path to ultimate reality) as if a personal synthesis of diverse information and then appear within cultural context (as that theory in the flick).  Collective unconscious?  A barely plausible construct to explain the much simpler explanation of a single consciousness influencing all machinations.  The question is simple: how do I know I'm not "dreaming?"  Apply whatever analogy, religious or otherwise.  The answer is even more basic: I don't.  I can't.  Under no circumstances can I come to this understanding without the hand of an omnipotent being reaching in.  There's always an architect.  Ask the Wachowskis.  How long can the noumena fail to appear before I channel my own train?  The top just keeps spinning.

2:30 pm: As I've ranted before, the world seems to be spiraling down the drain before my very eyes.  The great proportion of the populace seems much more attuned to mockery than actuality, to television than the streets outside their windows.  The line between fantasy and reality continues to blur; the ramparts of the tangible life crumble to the sea.  The seams tatter and the edges fray.  It is very much like this vision cannot endure, as if transition is imminent.  I suppose that the ending is the same either way, but can my soul survive the journey?

Pretty Girl 11.05.10 - Christie Clark

The reason I watched entirely too many episodes of my mother's soap operas during summer vacation at age 12.