Who Says Castro Didn't Play Ball?

If I were supreme dictator, I would credit myself with 23 perfect games ervry day.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Oh, what a beautiful morning.  I'd caption them, but it's a real pain in the ass and if you don't know who they are then you won't enjoy them anyway.  Thanks to J Scott Campbell for the art.

Pretty Girl 10.01.11 - Valerie Azlynn

Not an athlete, but she played one on TV.  Also, she's pretty goddamn hot.  My fav of the bunch.

Oooh, Trivia!

With the 2011 Major League regular season at an end, all sorts of obscure occurrences have become official.  Let's take a gander:

Dodgers infielder Eugenio Velez finished the year 0-for-37.  37 at-bats.  0 hits.  That, my friends is a record.  Velez eclipse the late, great Hal Finney, who had held the mark for the 75 years since he failed in all 35 of his AB's for the 1935 Pirates.  Not only does Eugenio take home that record, but, as a lovely parting gift, he also set a new mark for futility over multiple seasons.  Velez is hitless over his past 46 trips to plate.  Another record, this one is still live.  Should an organization give him a shot in seasons to come, Eugenio has the rare opportunity to further perfect imperfection.  SB Nation's Grant Bisbee had this to say on Velez --

If you're not Giants or Dodgers fan, you might not have heard of him until just now, but he's amazing. He's fast, but he can't run the bases. He certainly can't bunt. You might think Steve Carlton holds the all-time record for pickoffs with 144. You'd be wrong. Velez has about 167 (rough estimate). He can't play second base or the outfield, which makes him like a Jack Cust but one who is routinely stuck at second base, or in the outfield. When Velez plays baseball, Hunter Pence stops to say, "My word, that Velez fellow is gangly and awkward."

Thought you had heard everything about the Red Sox perdition and the Rays glory?  How's about this one:

The odds that Rays would erase their September deficit, then overcome the Yankees 7 run 8th inning lead and that the Sox would blow their game against Baltimore?  1-in-278,000,000.  That is 1 in 278 million.  A little context:  According to the bookofodds.com, any of the members were more likely to get struck by lightning (1 in 835,000), win a Powerball drawing (1 in 195,000,000)  or die in a shark attack (1 in 250,800,000).

All of that still does not excuse this gaff by Boston Globe beat writer Dan Shaunessy --



Those self same Rays sent top pitching prospect Matt Moore (nice guy, nice outing) to the mound to start game 1 of their ALDS against Texas.  Moore had made 1 MLB start and would not have even been eligible for the post-season roster had Jeff Niemann not suffered an injury.  Both the single start and his 9.1 career innings pitched coming in are the lowest ever for a Game 1 SP.  7 IP, 0 R, 2 H, 2 BB, 6 K.  Not too shabby.

As always, more to come.

Cheers.

P.s.  Oops again Boston.  Good times never seemed so good.  So good.

Pretty Girl 09.30.11 - Kiira Korpi

They don't get more candid than the big shot of this figure skater.  Gorgeous.

I Coulda Been Somthin'! I Coulda Been a CPA!

Ke$ha: The Story of the $ from Kesha

I'm gonna call her Kesh4.

Dan Johnson, Robert Andino & Bryce Harper?

It has been a season of colossal collapses.  Shortly after the Braves tied the 1964 Phillies for the greatest squandering of a September lead (8.5 games), the Red Sox, in truly dramatic fashion, finished frittering away a 9 game cushion.  If you do not know about Johnson and Andino, I shall allow the good people from MLB.com to edify you below.  So, why the heck is Bryce Harper's name on the list?

On August 18th, the Harrisburg Senators played the last game of a three game set against the Aeros in Akron.  Jonesing for Harper's signature on a baseball, I bought the first row seats right next to the visitor's dugout.  Long story short, Bryce signed for a bunch of yahoos that were spilling over from the three rows back and, literally, signed for the retard next to me before sauntering into the dugout, leaving my desires unrequited.  I know that it seems utterly inconsequential.  I recognize that, in the grand scheme of things (whatever the hell that is), my lack of Bryce Harper's autograph is about on par with whether you trimmed your toe nails today.  Still, examined outside of a vacuum (I'll tell you later), the incident threw me into a spiral of despair.  As I struggled with the notion that life is comprised of only pain and disappointment, most other aspects of my life suffered.

One of those affected acitivities was... wait for it... my fantasy baseball team.  As I journeyed north for the long weekend that would undoubtedly include my acquisition of a prized sovereign, my fantasy team, The Long Ball (cuz chicks dig it), held a 29.5 point advantage.  As I utterly neglected my team, 20 points bled away in a week.  By the time that I finally regathered myself, it was too late.  Even as frantic transactions stabalized the situation, the lead continued to trickle into oblivion.  In mid-September, I relinquised 1st place for the first time since April.  Similar to Boston and Atlanta, I came into the final day still with an opportunity to avoid disaster.  I trailed by 3.5 and I had Matt Cain going.  Then Cain got scratched.  Crap.  In the end, the 120 transactions that shuffled my roster over the course of the 162 game schedule were inadequate and The Long Ball finished 2nd, 2 points behind.

To Jonathan Papelbon, to Craig Kimbrel.  To Derek Lowe and Daniel Bard.  To the fans on Yawkey Street and in Fulton County, as the long, cold winter begins, I will quote from from the Gospel of Baldwin, the prophet Stephen, the book of The Usual Suspects, "Bad day... fuck it."

Cheers.





P.s. Nice recap piece here.  Or as I said about 32 times, "Are you kidding me?"  Best night of regular season baseball that I have ever seen.  Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I had the Braves on the big screen, the Sox on my laptop and the Rays on an iPhone.  ;-j

Pretty Girl 09.29.11 - Mellisa Stark

I know she's a sideline girl, but that counts, right?  All I can think of when I look at her is the phrase "sweater puppies."

Pretty Girl 09.28.11 - Leryn Franco

I don't know about this pole vaulter, she seems a bit top heavy.  Still, any chick trained to vault poles is cool with me.

A Quest Called Tribe

I was not going to write tonight.  Then, Jim Thome laced an opposite field RBI double to draw him to within 2 ribs of 25th all-time.  This led me to look up Jimmy's numbers.  Turns out that the two-bagger pushed his average with the Tribe to an even .300.  Awesome.  Since September 6, Thome is batting .417 with an OPS of 1.167.  Forever humble, the Indians' all-time home run leader has stated that he might play one more year, but he "has to wait for the phone to ring first."  Ha.

I could sit here, bitch & moan.  I bet you thought I was going to start ranting on how Jeanmar Gomez squandered all of his positive momentum going into the off season.  I'm sure you pictured me down on my knees, thanking the almighty that I shall never have to watch C.H.U.D. Durbin throw another pitch for the Indians.  Sure, all of that is true.  Instead, I'll focus on the impressive work of Nick Hagadone.  Tonight, Nick did absolutely everything that you want a left-handed relief pitcher to do.  After entering with a runner on second and one out, Hagadone proceeded to retire All-Star catcher Alex Avila (a lefty) and Ramon Santiago (switch-hitter) to escape further damage.  In the seventh he was more dominant still, striking out a pair and picking off Ryan Raburn, whom he had walked, on an excellent move to first.  Now, he still has some control issues (16/29 pitches for strikes today, 6 BB in 11 IP), but his OBA is .118.  .118!  Given some of Tony Sipp's problems down the stretch (4.25 ERA since the end of June, 10 HR allowed in 62.1 IP), fully expect Hagadone to challenge for a bullpen spot next spring.

There is not much else to say, except that the boys fanned 13 more times and have a real shot to overtake the Mariners for the AL lead if they continue swing and miss tomorrow.  Huh, #1: Injuries, #2: Strikeouts.  It's startin' to come together, Pepper.

Here's to going out with a bang (and a .500 season).

Cheers.

P.s.  Here's a picture of Ty Cobb (just right of the dude in the straw hat) in an Indians uniform from the Addie Joss Benefit Game at League Park in 1911.  Never heard of it?  Before today, neither had I.  The Georgia Peach's trunk never arrived, so he had to borrow a uni.  Check out an excellent piece on the game here.