"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison
"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives." — C.D. Payne
"So don't weep for me now, my friends, because science insists that I have not died.
Energy just always changes state and I refuse to believe that human consciousness is the sole exception to this universal law."
- Mark Millar
"Do only butterflies die in flames? What about those devoured by the flames within them?" - E.M. Cioran

Monday, March 26, 2012

Just In From the Desert

Hot Corner:  The official word is still that the third base job will not be awarded until the last possible moment, but if anyone thinks that Lonnie Chisenhall (.205, .456 OPS, 0 HR, 16/39 K/AB) is going to win it, I have some real estate in Detroit that you would absolutely adore.  Jack Hannahan returned to the line-up today after missing 10 days with a stiff lower back and doubled in both of his ABs.  Cap'n Jack is now clipping at an even .300 with a .900 OPS.

#5:  Despite an inconsistent outing against the Cubs on Sunday (5 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K), Jeanmar Gomez (1-1, 1.69 ERA, .196 OBA, 1.06 WHIP) still holds a sizable lead in the race for the last rotation spot.  One would have to assume that David Huff (1-1, 5.79, .298 OBA) is ahead of Kevin Slowey (0-3, 6.75, .352), but it's purely academic at this point.

Left Of Center:  I don't care what Manny Acta says or how distasteful a .216 batting average is, Shelley Duncan has won this job with 5 homers and 15 ribs.  Bear in mind though that Acta has directly contradicted himself on the matter this spring.  Back on March 7th, Acta told us that he wanted a player with "a nice blend of offense and defense."  A mere 16 days later, he had changed his tune, stating "You need to hit. We can't have a pecking order for defensive left fielders here. We need to see some stuff, some offense, some production."  16 days!  Did he actually change his mind?  Hell, no!  You know what you call that?  Unrepentant hypocrisy!  The man never tells us anything.  He just keeps talking in his puppy-cute broken English, making funny little jibes and pretending like he actually possesses the ability to evaluate talent or motivate players.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - Manny Acta is an idiot and the Indians organization confirms its dedication to mediocrity by retaining him.

Somewhere Out There:  So who's still competing?  Aaron Cunningham (.222) singled in three trips today, while Felix Pie (.231) had an RBI hit after replacing him.  Ryan Spilborghs (.171) once again went hitless and has simply run out of time to win a spot.  I count Matt LaPorta (.167) and Fred Lewis (.214) out as well.  Although Russ Canzler (.297) has had a solid spring, his .674 OPS is troubling.  Given Cunningham's contract situation and Pie's defense, Canzler has fallen to a distant third.  I don't know why I ever doubted this one.  Unless Cunningham in injured, he will be on the roster.  That's what you get for trading for an unproved kid who is out of options.

Bench MeJose Lopez (.351) was 0-for-4 today, but will be the last man on the bench.  The next person who mentions Andy LaRoche gets busted in the mouth.

Mightier Than the Sword:  Here's where it gets goddamn tricky.  By mid-market logic, newly acquired Rick VandenHurk is a shoe-in because he's out of options, but he got lit up on Saturday (0.2 IP, 2 ER, 2 K) and has an 11.57 ERA and a 2.43 WHIP overall this spring.  Jeremy Accardo has the best numbers of the bunch (1.50 ERA, SV), which obviously means that he's out of the running.  The word on the street is that Dan Wheeler (9.00 ERA, .382 OBA) has nearly pitched himself into a spot.  Great.  I look forward to 5 weeks of Dan the Gas Man fueling the fire before he is unceremoniously released.  And what about Chris Ray?  9.00 is cool, but 11.25 is out of line.  Ray actually has the same WHIP (2.00) as Wheeler and a better OBA (.352).  Oh, but Wheeler was sooooo good with Tampa Bay 3 years ago.  That's an outstanding reason to put him in the bullpen.  Shit, it doesn't really matter.  Frank Herrmann (6.48) has won one spot and he's fine as the long man and the Indians went 30-15 to start last season with Chad Durbin torching shit.

Red Tags:  Expect cuts on Thursday.

The Indians take on the White Sox tomorrow at 4:05p in Glendale.  Should you care to listen, it'll be on MMS @ 7p.

Cheers

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Pretty Girl 03.24.12 - Ashley Benson



w/ Selna Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens (yes as a blonde) & Rachel Korine
If you're not yet excited about Spring Breakers... you will be.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Pretty Girl 03.23.12 - Alex ter Avest




So I fell in love with her in a dream last night.  So what?  That's totally normal. [She's Kenny's season 3 gf on Eastbound and Down]

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Pretty Girl 03.20.12 - Bryce Dallas Howard



She's so anomalous.  Her dad is freaky.  She's better looking as a blond.  But, hells yeah, she's hot.

While I Was Sminking...

Yeah, so for those of you who might have forgotten or never paid the fuck attention, I sometimes skew my perceptions via the ingestion of intoxicating spirits.  Generally, that makes for an awesome time in the moment, but an abysmal recovery period.  After a deep pass with the creature, I become incredibly depressed.  The status quo is that I care very little for the world around me and the resultant chemical withdrawal leaves me unable to disregard the despair.  So yeah, when the high holidays come on down, there might be some gaps.  For now, strap yourselves in, a lot happened whilst I was in my stupors.

(1)  How Sweet It Is!

Hailing from a city that has not won a championship in 48 years, cheering my soul out for a team that has seen futility for a decade more than that and an alma mater that was, at best, an afterthought in the NCAA, this is particularly heartening.  So to every asshole that told me that I was picking with my heart when my brackets had the 'Cats in the round of 16, grab a handful of broken glass and go fuck yourselves.

Bobcats/Wolverines Highlights



Bobcats/Bulls Highlights



Cats Chat



(2) Just In From the Desert -

We're just gonna cover the broad strokes...

Hot Corner:  Defensive ability suggests that Jack Hannahan (.222, HR, 5 RBI, .667 OPS) should be seen as the leader over Lonnie Chisenhall (.231, 3 RBI, .490 OPS, 10/26 K/AB), but Manny Acta insists that this battle will not be decided until the last day of camp.

#5Jeanmar Gomez went four scoreless innings against the Dodgers today allowing just one hit (on a Russ Canzler misplay in left).  That's 11 total for the spring with an OBA of .114.  While we cannot expect this kind of production during the regular season, it cannot be disregarded in his candidacy for the fifth starter spot.  Scott Barnes, the only other pitcher with comparable stats (7 IP, 0 R, .200 OBA, 0.86 WHIP), has been removed from competition.  The other "contenders" - David Huff (5.73 ERA, .311 OBA, 1.45 WHIP), Kevin Slowey (5.63, .359, 1.88) & Zach McAllister (4.50, .292, 1.33) - have simply not delivered on the same level as Gomez.

Left Of Center:  Although Shelley Duncan's batting average (.217) is low, he leads the team with 3 bombs and is far in front with 10 RBI, not to mention his .966 OPS.  Matt LaPorta (.188, 1 RBI, .445 OPS) has shown no desire to showcase himself for this position, while Felix Pie (.158, .516) has done even less (other than running into a wall).

Somewhere Out ThereRuss Canzler continues to hit (.355), except that he has just one double in the XBH column and his OPS is an underwhelming .799 for a guy with such a high BA.  Also, he is not real slick in the field.  Aaron Cunningham (.208, .500 OPS) remains in competition only because the Indians gave up talent to get him and he is out of options.  I have no idea why Ryan Spilborghs is hanging around.  His offensive numbers (.214, .531, plus a .768 career OPS with home games at Coors Field) are shit and, despite the fact that some seem to believe that he is an asset defensively, the rTot/yr is awful at every spot (-11 LF, -16 CF, -12 RF)!  He is an asset exactly nowhere!  Ezequiel Carrera has already been outrighted to AAA and god help us if they take Fred Lewis (.214, .675).

Bench Me:  I will keep updating Jose Lopez's statistics until Acta officially announces that the former all-star has made the team.  Currently - .417, 2 HR, 6 RBI, 1.231 OPS, 1/24 K/AB

Mightier Than the SwordFrank Herrmann (6.43 ERA) has rebounded from an horrific first appearance to allow just one run in his last 6 innings.  Given his leg up entering the process, he is likely in.  Nick Hagadone (1.29 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, 0 BB) and Jeremy Accardo (1.80 ERA) have also looked good.  I would consider Dan Wheeler (12.00 ERA, .444 OBA, 2.50 WHIP) and Chris Ray (12.86 ERA, .382 ERA, 2.29 WHIP) dead in the water.  The complication comes from the Perez boys.  Neither Chris nor Raffy has thrown a single inning yet this spring.  If Rafael is out, then Hagadone is obviously the 2nd lefty.  If both are sidelined, things become very interesting with even Wheeler and Ray getting new life.  Remember Chris Seddon (3.38 ERA, 7/5.1 K/IP) as a dark horse.

Red Tags: Carrera, Juan Diaz, Hector Ambriz, Michel Hernandez, Corey Kluber

(3)  I missed a bunch of pretty girls, but I'm not going to post like 5 sets all at once.  Instead, here is a set of the only chick on the hottest women of Irish descent list whom I have yet to post.  Y'know cuz this all happened (or didn't) because of St Pat's...





4)  Here's a trailer for a neat new Tim Burton flick that is chock fulla hot broads.  US Law compels me not to say which one I think is the best.  ;-j



Opens 05.11.12

5)  oh, OK.  I was gonna have to post these eventually.  Enjoy the KKK action.  I'll see y'all real soon.  Cheers.


Cheers.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Stacking the Barack-ets



How does anyone who loves sports not vote for this guy?

Word Of the Day - "Chipotle"

Pretty Girl 03.15.12 - Abigail Klein



It's the best sports day of the year (Tourney Time, Baby!), so here's a (former) cheerleader (now "actress") for you.  I'll be sminking.

Cheers.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Just In From the Desert

Honestly, I don't know how the soccer fans do it.  A sporting event ending in a tie is just unnatural.  Two in a row is almost more than I can handle.

Hot CornerThe Chiz Kid (.235) continued a tough skid striking out in all three of his at-bats.  Chisenhall is now 1-for-his-last-9 with 5 Ks.  Jack Hannahan is clearly in the lead here.

#5:  Don't tell me that Scottie Barnes is not in the race for the fifth starter spot.  Barnes tossed three more scoreless innings today (7 for the spring with 5 H, BB, 6 K), allowing just one hit and fanning four.  He also picked a man off of first, a skill that should not go undervalued.  All things being equal, if he puts up equivalent numbers to another contender, he will go to AAA, but, if he outshines his peers, do not believe that the Tribe will just send him on his way.

Left Of CenterMatt LaPorta (.176) continued inching back into contention with a solid double today.  He's going to need to build on his recent success and show more power if he expects to have a realistic chance.  Felix Pie (.188) was a quiet 0-for-3 and needs to start hitting as well. 

Somewhere Out ThereAaron Cunningham (.238) was your left fielder for all nine innings.  Yeah, he went hitless in four trips, including a punch out.  Guy needs to show us something if he wants to play on the big stage. 

Bench MeJose Lopez got the day off.

Mightier Than the Sword:  Not today.

Tribe/ChiSox @ 4:05p tomorrow.  Tune in on STO.

Pretty Girl 03.14.12 - Alexis Bledel



Next time someones asks you what "cute as a button means," refer them here.