Tickets Punched

1. Travis Hafner to the 15-day DL with an oblique strain.

2. Luis Valbuena optioned back to AAA after 1 day.

3. Ezequiel Carrera and Frank Herrmann recalled.

4. Nick Hagadone from Akron to Columbus.

5. Eric Berger demoted.  Not released?

Columbus continues to play one man down.

"Footprints In the Sand... How Retarded"

God Reschedules Rapture from Antonio Sabato Jr

Kiss your loved ones folks, the whole shithouse is goin' up in flames.

A Quest Called Tribe

By now I'm sure that you have heard the breakdown of Fausto Carmona's season versus the White Sox as opposed to the rest of the league, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

Earned Runs: Vs. White Sox (18 in 8 IP) - Vs. Everyone Else (16 in 56.1 IP)

ERA: ChiW (20.25) - [Bos, LAA, Bal, Min, KC, Oak] (2.56)

W/L: ChiSox (0-2) - Not ChiSox (3-2)

OBA: Pale Hose (.405) - Other Hues (.207)

WHIP: Guillen (2.63) - Sane Managers (1.03)

Suffice to say that Fausto (4.76 ERA) had better get it together because he might have to face Chicago a few more times.  It was so bad tonight that Chad Durbin was up and throwing in the 2nd inning.

Wait, why was it Chad Durbin throwing in the 2nd?

And why am I so relatively calm about an 8-2 loss and a two-game "sweep" at the hands of the StankSox?

Oh I dunno, maybe it has something to do with the fact that Justin Germano got his @$$ DFA'ed today.  I all but screamed out in ecstasy.  No self respecting contender can have a Germano in the pen.  His departure makes all of this Fausto inflicted insanity a bit easier to swallow.

The corresponding recall is a bit odd - Luis Valbuena.  Luis made it known yesterday that he was headed North, but the move is more about replacing non-DL'ed position players than adding Valbuena's talents to the major league roster.  With Travis Buck a scratch with turf toe, Orlando Cabrera off in South Carolina finalizing his US citizenship and the walking bruise we call Travis Hafner still nursing an oblique strain (that kind of thing can last weeks, I smell the DL coming), the Tribe bench was seriously undermanned.  My guess is that Luis makes a quick return to AAA and Mitch Talbot is activated to be used as the long man.  I certainly hope that Acta does not take a page from Ozzie Guillen's playbook an try to use a six man rotation.

The game wasn't a gaping black hole.  Matt LaPorta (.275) did crank out his first bomb of May.  And there was this...



Oh, and the California Faith Ministry might be right, Austin Kearns (.185) had two hits, including a double.  A surer sign of the apocalypse I have never seen.

That's all I got, kids.

Cheers.

P.s.  Word on the street is that Ezequiel Carrera is ready to jump to the bigs should Buck or Hafner take to the disabled list, although if it's Pronk, Chad Huffman might make more sense.

Pretty Girl 05.20.11 - Emily Browning

Any girl who looks hot as a blonde, redhead AND brunette is all good in my book.

Clip Joint Is Dripping Wet

Literally!

It took three hours and the Clippers only got in three and a half innings.  Still, what we did get was fun to watch.  Mitch Talbot looked sharp in the four innings of work that became his second rehab start.  Mitch only got to throw 54 pitches, but he did so effectively.  Outside of a first inning solo dinger by Josh Reddick (it was monster), Talbot was only in trouble once, using a strike out and a ground ball to strand runners on the corners.  He allowed four hits and a walk while striking out five.  He induced four more outs on ground balls, including a double play, and kept the PawSox off balance by consistently changing speeds in spite of the nasty weather. 

The game was suspended halfway through the fourth inning with Columbus ahead 2-1.  Those runs came courtesy of back-to-back long balls from Jason Kipnis and Cord Phelps to lead off the contest.  Phelps' was his 7th of the season, one short of his career high set last season.

The game resumes at 5:05p tomorrow and will be played to full nine-inning completion.  The regularly scheduled game will follow, but will last just seven frames as in a MiLB double header.  Only in the International League folks.

Other Minor Points of Interest --

Joe Gardner delivered an excellent start (6 IP, 4 H, R/ER, BB, 5 K) in the first game of an Akron twin bill to earn his first win in more than a month and raise his record to 3-2.  Gardner (2.70 ERA), a third round pick in 2009, has stymied opponents to the tune of a .227 OBA.

Beau Mills, the #13 overall pick in 2007, made his season debut today after spending the first six weeks of the season recovering from a left Achilles injury.  Mills, who is beginning his third season at AA, singled and laid down a sacrifice bunt in five official trips.  Once a top five organizational prospect, Mills is now considered marginal at best following OPS seasons of .724 and .689 at Akron.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl Update! - Kate Upton

YouTube comment: "I just IMPREGNATED my computer!"


kate-upton-beach-bunny-bride by EgotasticMedia

I have some better questions for Kate.

Cheers

A Quest Called Tribe

Are we sure that Jake Peavy isn't Danny Haren in disguise?  Has anyone ever seen them in the same place at the same time?  Have I slipped into a strange alternate dimension where the same person can exist as two simultaneous individuals?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I hate losing!  I hate it when the offense looks like a pack of blind monkeys flailing for bananas.

I'll try to be coherent for a second.  After a complete inability to find the plate in the first two and a half innings, Justin Masterson allowed just 3 of the last 21 hitters he faced to reach base (BB, 2 H) and two of those were erased on "strike 'em out / thrown 'em out" double plays.  19 of Masterson's first 39 pitches were outside of the zone, but he missed with just 22 more during a 115 pitch effort that rendered his 3rd career complete game (8 IP, 5 H, R/ER, 2 BB, 8 K) and first of the season.  Justin has pitched more than well enough to earn his 6th victory in three of his four May starts, yet he remains winless for the month.  Still, I'll take the CG in my fantasy league.

Travis Hafner sat again with yet another in a litany of injuries.  He has sore ribs on his right side and will be re-evaluated tomorrow/today.

Yah, that's all I've got.  This here is a nice piece on Josh Tomlin, though.

I really hate losing.

Cheers.

The Clip Joint Splits

Luis Valbuena

Where to begin with this grey skied twin bill?  How about the staring pitching?  Sucked.  Jeanmar Gomez (3.47 ERA) got his @$$ handed to him in game 1 (5 IP, 5 H 4 R/ER, 2 BB, 5 K).  In two subpar starts since returning to AAA Gomez has an ERA of 5.91 and a WHIP of 1.41.  No good.  Barring a plague, I do not see Jeanmar returning to the bigs with the Indians.  Scott Barnes (5.97) was better in game 2 (4 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 2 ER, BB, 4 K), but was yanked before Columbus could take the lead.  Blargh.

The top of the lineup provided the spark on a day where no Clipper managed more than a pair of hits.  Ezequiel Carrera (2-6, 3B, 2 R, 2 BB, .317) and Cord Phelps (2-6, HR, 2B, 3 RBI, R, 2 BB, .300) had nice lines, but the real hero of the game 2 victory was the Pawtucket defense.  The PawSox committed two errors in the Clips five run 6th and added a third play that was a hit only because their center fielder never touched the ball.  It was a sloppy set of games at Huntington.

One interesting item of note - After the game Luis Valbuena made the statement that he was "going to Cleveland on Sunday."  Now, I don't know if Luis was serious, nor do I have insight into when such a player would be informed.  What I can offer is utter confusion.  Why bring up the retread Valbuena when Phelps is tearing the cover off of the ball?  The answer must lay in Valbuena's active status on the 40-man roster.  And, if Luis is to be believed, who's getting the boot from the Tribe's 25-man?  Adam Everett, the bell tolls for you.

Mitch Talbot takes the hill for Columbus tomorrow in his second rehab start.  I shall brave the elements to see the man live.  First pitch is at 6:35p.

Other Minor Points of Interest --

Nick Hagadone seems to be back on track after a couple of rocky outings last week.  Hagadone threw two shutout innings putting just one man on base (walk) and fanning a pair.  Both of his last two appearances have been hitless and he has lowered his OBA back to .183.  The Clippers are still playing one man down and there is a lot of conjecture that now might be the time for Nick to move on up.

The score of that Akron game was 16-6.  Kelvin De La Cruz was responsible for five of those runs in his 4.2 innings and could not get the last out of the fifth to qualify for the win.  Kel-DLC (3.28) was roughed up for six hits and three walks but struck out 8.  The surprise hero at the plate was infielder Kyle Bellows, who homered and drove in six.  Bellows, a 2009 4th round pick, came into the game hitting .185 with 9 RBI.  Jordan Henry (.310) added three hits, including a triple, and scored three times.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the 50-game suspension of Aeros outfielder John Drennen.  Drennen, the #33 overall pick in 2005, tested positive for a fertility drug that he was using to jump start his ovulation.  No word yet as to why he would want to do that. ;-j

Another solid start from Drew Pomeranz for Kinston tonight.  Pom (2.09), who did not factor into the decision, tossed six innings surrendering two runs on 5 hits.  He walked 3 and struck out six.  He continues to do exactly what he needs to in order to jump to AA.

Congrats to Steven Wright, who notched his first pro win since switching to the knuckleball.  In his best outing of the season for Lake County, Wright (1.71) was charged with a hit and three walks over six scoreless frames.  Wright struck out three as well.  His command of the pitch is the main measuring stick for promotion and, judging by tonight's effort, the move should come soon.

LeVon Washington scored his first multi-hit game of the season with two singles for los Capitans.  Washington (.258) also walked, scored twice and knocked in his first run.  LeVon is still just 19, so there's no rush, but it is good to see him put together a line that pops off of the screen.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 05.19.11 - Alexandra Daddario

Alexandra Daddario in Yellowbook ad "Trainer" by AlexandraDaddarioFan

Dear Alex, More skin = more roles.  Do it. ;-j  P.s. She's the coed from Hall Pass.

Also,

Number One With A Bullet

Let's start with this...



Now allow me to say that I don't give a damn.  As long as the man behind the curtain is giving the Cavs a better chance to break the championship drought, he can meddle all he likes.  Integrity be damned.  So.... Let's just assume everything is on the up and up.  ;-j

Or better yet, in true American fashion, let us completely disregard it and focus only the portion that is of personal interest.  Who do the Cavaliers select with picks one and four?

As I see it the team needs to fill any two of three needs: point guard, true 5 and wing scorer.  Baron Davis is old, Andy and JJ are undersized and, damn, we need to score some points.  Hopefully the trade exception can help to fill the third hole, but I wouldn't hold my breath.  Let's examine the amateur availability.

True Center

All of the highly rated big men (Enes Kanter, Jonas Valanciunas, Bismack Biyombo, Dontas Motiejunas, Jan Vesely) this season are foreign.  Since 2000 exactly 10 foreign players of 6'10" or taller have been taken with a top ten pick.  Of those ten let us excuse a couple (Andrea Bargnani, Danillo Gallinari) because they are primarily perimeter players.  Of the eight remaining, only three (Yao Ming, Pau Gasol, Nene) could be counted as successful on the court.  Let's bear in mind that there is not a lot of wiggle room here.  We are talking about top ten picks, but those who busted did so by any estimation.  Darko Milicic is the most famous of course, but let's not forget about Yi Jianlian.  At least you know his name.  Can you recall Mouhamed Sene (exactly 103 NBA points)?  Or Nikoloz Tskitishvili (2.9 PPG, 1.8 RPG for his career)?  Yeah, me neither.  And I would be remiss if I did not remind you all of our own DeSagana Diop (2.1 PPG, 3.8 RPG).  Now this measure only accounts for those who never attended college in the US, so perhaps I am unfairly penalizing Kanter (just like the NCAA!).  Still when using the #4 (there is no chance one of these guys goes first) overall pick, it might be smart to steer away from a demographic that has produced just three positive returns ever!  It is more difficult to scout these players because there is both less video and an unfamiliar level of competition, so will stray to the historical.

For the sake of this discussion we shall now assume that the Cavs will seek to grab a point guard and a dynamic scorer with their two picks.  It might even be possible to snag a big man with some upside (Trey Thompkins, Jeremy Tyler) at the top of the second round.  Literally every mock draft I have seen has the Cavaliers selecting Kyrie Irving at the top and Derrick Williams going second and, for now, we will table any discussion of which player is "better."  We need only to accept that we need two players.

The smart move is to pick Williams, the charismatic high-flyer, #1 overall to put butts in the seats and points on the board.  No doubt that Irving will be long gone by pick 4, but, unless someone starts buttering their bacon, either Brandon Knight or Kemba Walker will be available.  Irving is clearly the better PG prospect, drawing grand comparisons to Chris Paul, but, again, the Cavs need two exceptional players.  The only way to do this is to pick Derrick Williams #1 and "settle" for point guard 1a with the fourth pick.

I will stand by this.

Cheers.