Pretty Girl 06.02.11 - Vanessa Marcil

Put your thumb and forefinger an inch apart.  That's how tall Vanessa is.  Cool that she's hot enough to pull it off.

Stop Calling Me!

iPhone No Cancer Commercial - watch more funny videos

Good thing that 98% of my cell phone time is spent texting. Really spellcheck?  You don't know the word "texting?"

Here's the whole story (as long as you haven't gone over your Times quota for the month). ;-j

Cheers.

People Still Rent Movies?

Once, about ten years ago, I hit a patch of ice in my pick 'em up truck and barrel rolled the damn thing four times into a tree.  There's a whole lot to this story, but in the interest of time...  I hid the "adult film" that I had in the cab under the seat so that my parents wouldn't see it.  When I tripped out to the scrap yard to dig my crap out of the totaled mess, the tape (yeah, VHS, baby) was gone.  One of the tow truck guys stole my porno.  Not even my porno.  I had to go into the local video store and drop this line on the 20-year old chick behind the counter.  "Uh, yeah, I crashed my truck and they stole the tape.  Absolutely.  No, it's not that I want to keep it.  Really."  If that wasn't bad enough, I had to give her 90 bucks for the damn thing.  And I ended up having to give the whole spiel to the 'rents.  Great.  That was nothing like this sketch.  ;-j

Cheers.

Goin' All the Way @ the Clip Joint

Zach McAllister

Sadly, Zach McAllister's perfect season is over.  He did, however, throw a complete game six-hitter.  Zach made one mistake and it turned into a 3-run Dan Johnson homer.  The rest we can put on the shoulders of an impotent offense that mustered just two hits.  McAllister (2.42) walked three and struck out the same in going the distance for the second time in 2011.  And, ok, he did give up a solo homer in the 4th, but it was the 6th inning that changed the game.  The two men that came home ahead of Johnson's blast reached on an error and a walk.  Ain't that always the way.  McAllister remains #1 on the minor league depth chart should the big club need a spot start.

Briefly, lest I blow chunks, on the offense.  Cord Phelps: 14-game hit streak over.  Lonnie Chisenhall: one hit in his last 20 at bats.  Jared Goedert: .067.  The final was 4-1.  Enough.

Corey Kluber takes his turn tomorrow at 7:05p as the Clippers continue their series with the Bulls Durham.

Other Minor Points of Interest --

CC Lee pitched two innings and struck out three in a 4-2 Akron loss that also featured Jordan Henry's 17th steal and Beau Mills' first dinger.  Lee (3.00) did allow an unearned run, but the awesome bit is his strikeout rate.  CC now has 43 K's (against just 7 walks) in 30 innings which rattles out to 12.9 K/9.  If you look at his last ten appaearances (17.1 IP, 29 K) the number jumps to 15.1.  Wicked.

The Kearnsian bat work filtered down to Kinston as well, though the little Indians found a way to win, 1-0.  Giovanni Soto could not wait out the offense, but he did polish off an insane month of May.  Soto (2.44) was 3-0 with a 2.03 over the past month with 10.2 K/9.  Today he hurled six shutout innings with a pair of hits, a pair of walks and ten more punch outs.  Although Soto has had a magnificent season, the organization has the luxury to bring him along deliberately, so do not expect a promotion any time soon.

On the subject of caution, Drew Pomeranz, who has not pitched since May 18th is scheduled to throw on Wednesday.  His last three starts have been skipped with very little in the way of explanation.  One theory is that the Indians are just trying to limit his innings.  Still, as more and more outings are missed, one begins to wonder if this has something to do with the hamstring tightness that forced Drew out after three innings on April 25.  Once again, the Tribe can exert however much discretion it would like as there are a load of arms ahead of Pom.

The feast or famine adventures of St Ed's own Alex Lavisky continued tonight for the Captains.  Alex (.210) jacked two bombs and drove in five during a Lake County 9-4 victory.  Both his last homer and last multi hit game came on May 14th.  In those two games Lavisky went 4-for-8 with 3 long balls and 7 RBI.  In the eight games between he batted .178 (5-for-28) with zero XBH and zero RBI.  He did go down on strikes eleven times.  Ah, the life of a 20-year old professional catcher.

Cheers.

Pretty Girl 06.01.11 - Melissa Auf Der Maur

Former bassist for Hole (see today's FTC) and confirmed redhead.

A Quest Called Tribe

At approximately 7:02pm I turned to my lady and said "I predict a great start from Mitch Talbot."  Now I am unsure whether Mitch's line (6.2 IP, 6 H, R/ER, 3 BB, 3 K) qualifies as great but thank that deity (what's his name?) that it was at least in the ballpark. ;-j  Following a stretch of games during which the Indians played exactly how everyone expected them to this season, a win tonight was paramount to set up a chance to win the series tomorrow.  In fact, so much went right tonight that I am a bit scared that the left shoe is coming back down on Wednesday.

First off, Talbot.  On a night that many described as a make-or-break for his career with the Tribe, he stepped up and delivered the sort of performance that we all know he is capable of.  I have read a bunch of blather that his outing was "ok," was "acceptable" and that defense bailed him out.  Huh, I am fairly certain it was basically the same defense (exactly on the infield and that is what is being referenced) behind Fausto Carmona last night.  Weird how the Jays scored all of those runs with that miracle D out there.  Why does it never work for Chad Durbin?  Wait, I forget... is this a team sport?  Does a pitcher only do well when he strikes out every man he faces?  Maybe, just maybe, Talbot (4.50) threw an excellent game and Jack Hannahan did exactly what he is being paid to do at third base to balance his .229 batting average.  I am going to give Mitch his due and expect similar results each and every time he steps to the mound.

Oh, yeah, speaking of striking out everyone he faced, say it with me: Vinnie...  Pestanoisnasty.

And the offense woke up?  WTF?  Carlos Santana had three hits including a pair of doubles.  Carlos Santana.  He who built a condo on the Mendoza line.  If you had asked me before the game I would have deemed it more likely that the singer had a better chance to crack three hits.  Regardless, it was Santana's first three hit contest since opening day and drove in a pair.  He is up to .228.  Two doubles and 2 RBI for Grady Sizemore (.255), three hits (2B, 3B) for Michael Brantley (,287) and a wicked delayed steal by M-F'in Hanahan.  It is all almost too much.  I think that I will just sit back and enjoy it.

Tonight, I will dream of the bullpen mafia mowing down Philadelphia Phillies in October.

Cheers.

Flick to Click: Hit So Hard

In limited release now.  Go find it.

Yeah? Fuck You, Too.

It's shit like this that makes me want to burn things down.

MVotD - Guns 'N' Rose - Madgascar

At least Chinese Democracy wasn't a complete piece of shit...



And a bit of the good old days...



Cheers

L'Homme Chauve-Souris

I could explain all the metaphor and symbolism but you have accurately dissected the dense layering already.  Right?