"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." - Thomas A. Edison
"I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives." — C.D. Payne
"So don't weep for me now, my friends, because science insists that I have not died. Energy just always changes state and I refuse to believe that human consciousness is the sole exception to this universal law." - Mark Millar
"Do only butterflies die in flames? What about those devoured by the flames within them?" - E.M. Cioran
So, y'know Chirstina Hendricks (she's on Mad Men). I find her... um... endowment frightening.
It seems as if each... um... gazonga is bigger than her head! So... curious, I googled her bra size. Unofficially (who certifies bra sizes? I want that job.) Turns out, blah blah, likes carrying an extra 15 pounds, blah blah, doesn't buy into the heroin-chic culture of Hollywood, blah blah... Her bra size is 38-DDD! Not a typo. Now, outside of niche... um... entertainers, I'd never heard of such a thing. I was not aware that nature produced such excess. Long story short (too late), this is how one computes a bra size.
So you measure at the indicated places (that's the fun part), take the under bust measure (the smaller of the two numbers, god willing) and refer to the chart below
XXS
XS
S
M
L
XL
XXL
3XL
4XL
5XL
Under bust measure (cm)
58-62
63-67
68-72
73-77
78-82
83-87
88-92
93-97
98-102
103-107
Band Size
28
30
32
34
36
38
40
42
44
46
Then find the difference between the bust measure and the under bust measure and dig the chart below
Bust/band difference and cup size
inches
cm
US
cup size
< 1
0 to 2
AA
1
2 to 4
A
2
4 to 6
B
3
6 to 8
C
4
8 to 10
D
5
10 to 12
DD
6
12 to 14
F or
DDD
7
14 to 16
G or
DDDD
8
16 to 18
H
9
18 to 20
I
10
20 to 22
J
11
22 to 24
K
12
24 to 26
L
13
26 to 28
M
14
28 to 30
N
Therefore, our model above is a 32-DDDD, indicating that she would be unable to walk. Great pictogram, Wikipedia. Ah well, now we know. And knowing is half the battle. Cheers.
Our magical mystery tour concludes with this voluptuous vixen, who co-starred in The Other Boleyn Girl with Natalie P. Look forward to scaretastic ladies on the morrow.
Mike Brown has found a new role: middle school assistant football coach. Yessir! I believe it to be exactly the level at which the former Cavs coach can excel. Says Brown, “I’m a glorified equipment guy who gets to chest bump and high-five the players. The kids still call me coach.” Even better! Props to Westlake Lee Burneson Middle School for not giving Mike to much responsibility. We all know how that leads to horrific failure. Although I'm beginning to think LePrincess:Jordan::Anti-Christ:Jesus. That is, LeGump makes the players around him worse just as His Airness magnified his teammates' talents. And, yes, I do think in SAT analogies. Cheers.
The Bucks are #4 in the new AP poll, one spot higher than the coaches' poll of last week. Check out the scrimmage vs Walsh on 11.07 (BigTenNetwork.com). The regular season starts the 12th against NC A&T.
In a completely different sort of madness, the NBA has banned players from wearing NBA logo headbands (the only legal variety) upside down. Hardest hit? Rajon Rondo. As Cavs fans may have noticed last night, the budding superstar is no longer wearing his headband at all. Good idea, Stern. Wait, how does this increase revenues?
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-27-2010/barack-obama-pt--1"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Barack Obama Pt. 1&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-27-2010/barack-obama-pt--2"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Barack Obama Pt. 2&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-27-2010/barack-obama-pt--3"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Barack Obama Pt. 3&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-27-2010/moment-of-zen---obama-will-not-be-at-the-rally"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Moment of Zen - Obama Will Not Be at the Rally&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-october-27-2010/10-27-10-in--60-seconds"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;10/27/10 in :60 Seconds&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
Remember Undressed? PG-13 porn on MTV? Autumn Reeser, Jenny Wade and many others pranced around nearly naked. Good times. Jenny stars on The Good Guys now. In one ep, she goes undercover as a call girl. I nearly fainted.
Troy Smith starts for the 49ers on Sunday... in London.
The Tribe will play an exhibition game 03.30.11 against the Clippers at Huntington Park in Columbus. No word on tickets yet, but this is gonna rock.
The Tigres are expected to buy out Jhonny P's option year for $250k and renegotiate an extension in the 2-yr $10-11mil range. I cannot believe that Peralta has MLB value.
David Bowens in your AFC Defensive player of the week. Shocker. Reggie Hodges got robbed. No ST PotW for him.
A great blog entry on the Heat's performance last night.
I never watched The O.C., but, now that I know that Olivia Wilde and Autumn were regulars, I might have digitally re-appropriate. And, ya know, it's the season.
True to form, fans at Yankee Stadium were rude and obnoxious to Cliff Lee's wife, Kristen (back row, far right, you could have done much better, Cliff). Hopefully that's just enough to keep him out of the Bronx. Stay classy, Yanks fans.
The raid on the Indians pantry continues as Charles Nagy has been named as the Diamondbacks new pitching coach. It was a pleasure to have Charlie with the Clippers for a season. I foresee much success for him in his new position.
Bengie Molina gets a ring regardless of who wins the series. Recall that he started the season with the Giants. It's rumored that he might even get a winner's share ($) if Frisco wins.
Tony Romo will be out 6-8 weeks with his fractured collarbone; no surgery will be necessary. The play he was injured on was uncomfortable to watch.
The Browns have released James Davis, because their running back cup overfloweth. Hillis or bust, baby! Added was former practice squader and Patriot, Thomas Clayton (who?). Also, Yamon Figurs, after 1 game and -4 yard rush, is gone, replaced by another former Ravens wideout, Demetrius Williams.
Lastly, Jim Rome has my back. His take on Queen James new Nike spot -
You’ve probably seen LeBron James’ new, ‘What should I do?” Nike spot. You probably liked it and bought it. I don’t. And to answer the question, what should you do; you should have just apologized for the decision and for jamming Cleveland as hard as you did. It would have saved you a ton of abuse and Nike a lot of time and money producing and running this spot. Then again, in order to apologize, usually, you have to be sorry, and you’re not. Or you wouldn’t have told Cleveland just last week, that they need to just get over it. Nothing like humiliating someone and stabbing them in the back and telling them they need to get over it. Apologize??! That entire spot was in essence, a defense, for what he did; he’s asking, “What should I have done.” ??? And he doesn’t think it was a mistake to let his crew go all amateur hour and talk him into the decision, saying, “They’re my friends.” The spot was slick and entertaining, but the words would mean a lot more if they came from him and weren’t written for him by Nike or an ad agency. A spot won’t rehabilitate his image, but an apology would have. And since that’s obviously not coming, he needs to win a ring. Right now. Winning fixes just about everything. Commercials don’t. A spot like that is designed to generate some buzz, and win James some sympathy. Sympathy he doesn’t deserve because he’s not sorry and still doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
I'd give you the audio. but Jim wants me to pay for it. Yeah, right.
As previously noted, Auburn jumped 3 other undefeated team to gain the #1 spot in the BCS. Why did this happen? We just don't know. Nowhere is there any sort of objective or intelligible explanation of the racking & stacking of FBS teams in the almighty BCS rankings. Now it has been reported that Oklahoma's Bob Stoops threw in the towel with 2 and half minutes left in the Sooners' 9 point loss to Mizzou. He explained that the probability that pollsters would look more forgivingly on a margin of defeat in single digits rather than at 16 points far outweighed the possibility of a comeback victory. That's just awful logic. Even worse it's simply not good for the game to force a head coach to prognosticate the opinions of however many subjective individuals. Wouldn't they give more credence to a 2 point loss than 9? Guess what? I don't know. You don't know. Bob Stoops doesn't know. Most likely the voters themselves couldn't give a definite answer. The entire situation is damnably frustrating. That's the view of an OSU fan. Imagine the perspective of a die-hard in Boise or Dallas (TCU) whose team has been leap-frogged by half the big 6 squads this season.
In addition, we have the deflated attitude of the Buckeyes' fair weather fans. I don't know if it's similar for the faithful of Oklahoma, Alabama or, dare I say, Wisconsin, but I would imagine it's similar. The mood on campus following the annihilation of Purdue last Saturday was, at best, subdued, if not apathetic. The sequence of events that would propel the Bucks into the championship game is so unlikely as to not even be described. More relevantly, they are very much outside of the team's control. OSU is still playing for a Big10 championship and/or a Rose Bowl bid, but those honors are a far distant second in this day and age. I'll go ahead and state this as clearly as I can: the BCS is bad for college football! I shan't bore you with how this crosses all lines between fans, players, universities and the almighty television dollars. Rest assured, strong arguments can be made for all.
The solution, in my mind, is simple and, yes, it does involve a playoff. 8 teams, 3 rounds, mid-december, New Year's Day and the date of the current BCS Championship. At this point in the season, making the top 8 is viable for any undefeated team, any 1-loss team from the big 6, and many 2-loss teams depending on circumstance. Everybody who matters is still in it. I understand this is a slippery slope with the possibility of massive displeasure from the #9 and #10 teams, accompanied by calls for field expansion. The fact of the matter is that when push comes to shove all of the top 8 teams have the chops to be national champs, not just the top 2 or even the top 4. Similarly, many of the 9-16 just aren't in the same class as the top 8. I might even me convinced to only take 6 and reward the top 2 with byes. For now, that's nitpicking. I'm even open to initially utilizing the same BCS formula until it proves untenable. There is no perfect system. There will never be a true majority. So, let's keep the dream alive for the Cinderellas, let's keep the excitement alive on top tier campuses and let's apply the model of the best post-season in any sport, at any level, to the marketability of FBS football. And, please, let's do it soon.
I told him to shut up & yet he just keeps flapping his gums to sells more shoes. Yah, he's so eloquent when he's reading a prepared statement. Ooh, he conjured (at the least) Charles Barkley & Homer Simpson! Now I think he's dreamy! On top of everything else this little snot thinks that 90 seconds of solid production values will right all wrongs. That's how stupid he thinks we are. Wait, he said that he didn't tarnish his legacy? Oh, well, then sign me up for a whole dumpster of brand new Nike shwag. More debt for me, more houses with built-in casinos for LeBrat. Christ.
John Farrell is officially the new manager in Toronto. Bummer.
OSU remains #11 in the new BCS rankings. Auburn is #1. I confused.
Vlady will play right in the World Series. Go Rangers!
A.I. has signed to ball in Turkey. How the mighty have fallen. Why wouldn't the Heat sign him? Or our own Cavaliers? The deal he inked is worth only $2mil per.
D'Angelo Hall intercepted Jay Cutler FOUR(4) TIMES on Sunday. I'm violating all sorts of copyrights, but I can't resist. Lookie...
E has been carrying this blog. Updating daily, delivering non-naked women, beautiful, if rare rants. I figure I should give something back, especially since I've told our favorite German about the page.
So Trent Reznor (who got his start in the Cleveland recording scene) of NIN on hearing this cover of his baby:
"I listened to it and it was very strange. It was this other person inhabiting my most personal song. I'd known where I was when I wrote it. I know what I was thinking about. I know how I felt. Hearing it was like someone kissing your girlfriend. It felt invasive."
Also
" I pop the video in, and... wow. Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps... Wow. I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn't mine anymore."
The song is a bit of a downer, so tuck your dick away safely.
The Browns win! And in convincing fashion. Behind three of the gutsiest trick plays ever, the Dawgs railed New Orleans 30-17. By the end of the game, I was shell shocked. I was unable to find words to express the stunned awe that enveloped me. How did this happen? Well, Drew Brees threw 4 interceptions. 2 of them were returned for touchdowns by David Bowens, including a 64 yard scamper with less than 5 minutes remaining to ice the victory. In case you're unaware no player has ever taken 3 picks back in the same game. This means that David Bowens, yes David Bowens, now holds a share of the all-time NFL record for interception returns for touchdowns in a single game. I suppose that might have been enough to push the Fightin' Manginas to victory, but we'll never know because the head coach turned to the last page of the playbook and dialed up some trickeration that absolutely zero living people foresaw. (1) After fielding the Saints' first punt, Josh Cribbs threw a perfect spiral across the width of the field to Eric Wright (he later got beat again for a td, but this is a happy post) who rambled 62 yards to the 19. This set up Phil Dawson for the games first score. (2) In the 3rd quarter, Reggie Hodges dropped back to punt, but, instead, ran up the middle for 68 yards, juking Lance Moore out of his shorts in the process. One, literally, could have driven a tank down the lane that Reggie was free to run in. (3) As the offense ate up 6 minutes of the 4th quarter on their way to another field goal, they converted a crucial third down when Peyton Hillis took a direct snap and completed a 13 yard pass back to Colt McCoy. McCoy got drilled after the reception as he conciously chose to stay in bounds and keep the clock moving.
Wow. Wowee, wow, wow. The way I see this team is in diametric opposition to what I felt about 8 days ago. I'm now ready to jump on the Colt drawn buggy to the future. His accuracy is ridiculous, especially for a rookie, and he has a head on his shoulders that betrays the fact that he started for 4 years in a Big12 program. McCoy looks like a leader, a winner. As does Hillis, who ran the ball 7 straight times (43 yards) during the aforementioned drive. Take the true QB1, let him start the rest of the season (hell or high water), add the bruiser, set them up with the fear of some ridiculous play call, watch their backs with a defense (props to Roth, Benard and Fujita) that showed a pass rush for the first time in a coon's age and wins will follow. Stay the course ManGenius, don't overthink this one. Keep your foot to the gas with the creativity and soon the whole town will join me in this flushing new anticipation of every given Sunday. Go Browns! Cheers.
The Buckeyes put 42 points on the board in the first half and coasted to a 49-0 victory over Purdue yesterday. The Boilermakers are not the cream of the Big10 crop, but they're certainly not the Little Sisters of the Poor either and OSU destroyed them. At no point during the game did Purdue look anything except completely over-matched. The first drive of the game: 5 plays, 60 yards, touchdown, ALL hand-offs to Boom Herron. The Bucks toyed with their opponents and, outside of 2 TP picks (ugh), looked like world beaters. The D produced 4 takeaways, Andrew Sweat flew all over the field and Orhian Johnson continued to emerge as a the next big thing in the secondary. All of this and nobody gives a damn. It was, by far, the most unenthusiastic and robotic crowd that I have ever been a part of on campus. The south stands NEVER filled, the place was half empty during the 4th quarter and barely anyone stood during the second half. Compounding the issue was an utter lack of coverage by the national media. In my mind a 49 point shutout win, over a quality conference opponent goes a long way toward establishing the Buckeyes as the best 1-loss team in the nation, but the game was glossed over in many halftime shows without a single highlight, barely mentioned at all. Seemingly the team has become an afterthought. OSU simply is not sexy enough to hold the attention of the pundits or their spoiled "fans" once they have dropped from the peak of BCS championship contention. That's a shame because, before the loss of Tyler Moeller, this team was better than any of the others that played for the crown over the past decade and, even now, is of such quality to deserve a level of recognition that many are unwilling to give.
RedSox pitching coach and former Indians pitcher and farm director, John Farrell has emerged as the front runner to fill the Blue Jays managerial vacancy. On one hand this would mean the Tribe's retention of first base coach and fan favorite, Sandy Alomar Jr. Unfortunately, it would also entail losing out on a bright, impassioned baseball mind with strong ties to the organization. I've been screaming for Farrell since the beginning of '09, but the Indians approached him during the middle of a BoSox playoff run last year. Thus, Cleveland is once again the friggin' bridesmaid. Mark my words, John Farrell will be successful in Toronto, and we will all regret not making a bolder push for his services. And I'm sure Rojo Johnson would love a crack at big league managing. Cheers.
From LeGrande Jackass - "If I was a fan and I was on the outside looking in, I could be upset a little bit if one of my favorite players left, or if I felt like he betrayed us or whatever the case may be. But you have to get over it."
Above and beyond the fact that the face of the NBA is a spoiled 15 year old child wrapped in a 6'8", 240 lb, freak of nature body. Forgiving him for the tactless and self-serving manner in which he chose to frame his departure. Ignoring how he flagrantly stuck one foot out of the door during the playoffs and phoned in the Boston series. Not even mentioning that the "greatest" player of his generation has failed to win 1 game in the NBA finals, let alone a championship. For all his bravado that he came from nothing, pulled himself up by his bootstraps, and will never, ever lose touch with his roots, LeFraud has become aloof and detached. The ultimate hometown legend has morphed into a new money embarrassment. My only response to this rotten little boy it would be "We're not upset that you are who you are. If you've got it, flaunt it. If you're just about your own glory, your own legacy, then so be it. Maybe we thought that when the next big thing came straigh out of Akron, it was finally our turn to stand proud as a community of fans. We're just disappointed, disappointed that we believed in you in the first place." So stop it with the salt, you worthless scab, you reap what you sow. This is what you chose. You are indelibly scarred. You are damaged goods. Your legacy is one of immature arrogance. Deal with it. And shut your bloody mouth, douche-bag.
The Indians get a couple of never-will-bes from the Yankees. Headed to the organization - RHP Andrew Shive, 25, who has never pitched above single A and missed the entire 2009 season & 3B/2B Matt Cusick, 24, who has at least made it to AAA. They're not prospects. Don't bother remembering their names, you won't hear them again.
Also, dig this wicked well-done piece on Adam Miller from IPI. Consider him a real possibility to steal a bullpen job in the spring.